战胜创伤，实现美国梦
毕业生聚焦:伊利亚娜·伍德哈尔令人心碎的毕业之旅是一个多代人的庆祝活动
触发警告:这个故事可能包含一些让一些人感到不安和触发的内容.
周一，当伊利亚娜·伍德哈尔走上十大博彩推荐排名州立大学毕业典礼的舞台时，三代女性都流下了眼泪, 5月13日. 它们将是欢乐的泪水, 庆祝她如何在克服多年的创伤后实现了她的美国梦和学术梦, 包括虐待儿童和家庭, 非法移民到美国，并在三次自杀未遂中幸存下来.
When she receives her bachelor’s degree in Family Science and Human Development, Woodhull, 41, also will become the first in her family to earn a degree. 明年, she expects to attend the graduation of her daughter and commuting buddy 天使总统巴, 十大博彩推荐排名大学心理学专业. 他们的校园通勤将继续, 作为总统巴, 22, 她完成了大四的学业，伍德哈尔回来开始她的硕士课程，并实现了另一个梦想, 成为有执照的临床社会工作者.
微笑的伍德哈尔愉快地回忆起2021年他们从苏塞克斯社区学院毕业时与女儿分享的难忘时刻. 周一的 毕业典礼然而，这将是伍德霍尔的大日子，一个治愈个人和世代创伤的日子.
“It’s been a tough road,伍德哈尔说, choking back tears. “It’s a huge accomplishment, not just for me but for the women in my family. 这将是一个难忘的时刻.”
Mother and daughter appreciate that this moment might never have happened. Woodhull’s most recent suicide attempt was just two years ago, 这对他们俩来说仍然是痛苦的. “是它把我叫醒的,伍德哈尔说, 她补充说，在精神病院呆了一周，“让我看到了一切，我是多么幸运。.”
离开她的家人，尤其是她的女儿，帮助她意识到她活着的意义. “我的女孩. 我的女儿，”伍德哈尔哭着说. “I couldn’t keep her off my mind because it wasn’t fair to do what I did. She has always told me that I am a role model for her, 她很尊敬我, 她在我身上看到了力量, so I need to show her that I am what she believes.”
Wiping away tears, Bernales says: “I could have lost her. 我非常非常感谢她今天来到这里，那个星期一，她就要毕业了. She’s going to get to walk across that stage, and she deserves it. She deserves everything good because she is such 一个不可思议的人. 她有一颗纯洁的心和善良的灵魂，对她所爱的人和陌生人都有这样的爱. 她是颗宝石，真的.”
伍德霍尔的校园生活非常繁忙. 她是十大博彩推荐排名三阿尔法联盟的主席, the national honor society for first-generation college students. 她在学校里做过两份工作:担任西班牙裔学生学院(Hispanic Student College Institute)的副主任, 她从哪里开始做同伴导师的, 也是艾米丽·道格拉斯的研究助理, professor and chair of the Department of Social Work and Child Advocacy, 而且一直在院长名单上. 作为她学习的一部分, she also completed an internship at a child advocacy center, 并作为一名志愿者留下来.
“Iliana has shown us that you can share your vulnerabilities, fears and challenges and build on your strengths to not only succeed but thrive,西班牙裔倡议和国际项目副教务长卡蒂亚·帕兹·戈德法布说，她看过伍德哈尔的工作.
Douglas says: “It is a pleasure to know and work with Iliana. She is positive, up-beat, motivated, honest and hard-working. 她非常周到地将自己的生活经历融入到她的学术工作中，并将其作为下一代社会工作者的一部分.”
被诊断为抑郁症, 焦虑和创伤后应激障碍, 伍德哈尔公开了她的心理健康挑战，并将自己描述为“自杀幸存者”.她分享自己的故事是为了证明克服障碍并继续前进是可能的.
她热衷于帮助别人, 特别是让拉丁美洲人了解精神卫生服务，减少有时可能与寻求帮助有关的耻辱. 毕业前一周, 伍德哈尔被选为Telemundo 47 news的采访对象，谈论十大博彩推荐排名的心理健康服务 新泽西州副州长塔赫沙·韦和高等教育部长布莱恩·K. 布里奇斯参观校园 宣布大学生将有免费, 全天候的远程治疗, 危机联系和健康规划通过墨菲政府的剩余部分.
学校是避风港
作为一个在墨西哥长大的孩子, 伊利安娜去和家人的朋友住在一起, 谁会是虐待她的人. Her mother removed her from there and left her in the care of her grandmother, 她离开墨西哥前往美国. 在她十几岁时, 伍德霍尔跟着母亲去了美国, 和她叔叔一起穿越沙漠, 两个陌生人和一只郊狼的帮助. 她最终来到了新泽西, 在哪里当服务员, she taught herself English by regularly asking customers, “你怎么说……?” says Woodhull, laughing, and looking words up in the dictionary. Today, one would never know that Spanish was her first language.
她18岁结婚，19岁生下女儿. At 22, she divorced her first husband after he became verbally abusive, 她说. 为了抚养孩子，她打了好几份工.
It was from a restaurant customer that she learned she could acquire a GED, 这是她在2011年完成的. She later married her husband, William Woodhull, one of her biggest champions, 她说. She received a green card in 2018, and today, she’s a proud U.S. 公民. 她也为自己的墨西哥血统感到自豪, as evidenced by her stole depicting the Mexican and American flags.
“The only thing I wanted was to go to school and to make my family proud. 只要我拿到绿卡, 这是我做的第一件事——学会开车，因为我总是害怕像许多移民一样非法驾驶,她说。. “I started studying for my driver’s license and for school.”
Woodhull says she’s always loved school and learning. Looking back at her elementary school years in Mexico, she now realizes that “I loved it so much because it was my safe haven. It was the only place where I wasn’t experiencing any abuse. No one was hitting me and no one was telling me anything negative.”
学习与忘却
伍德哈尔最初以为她想进入教育行业，但后来意识到她想“亲自帮助孩子们，而不是在学业上帮助他们”. As a trauma survivor, I want to give children the voice I didn’t have,她说。. “帮助儿童和家庭是我一生的梦想，十大博彩推荐排名帮助我看到了这一点. Through my studies, I’ve developed a passion for advocacy and social work.”
主修家庭科学和人类发展，辅修心理学和儿童保护, studies have sometimes proved emotionally difficult for her. “All of the professors I’ve had here at Montclair know a little bit about me; the part that they know is my traumas because I have taken classes like child abuse and neglect, children and justice and poverty and families…everything that has to do with families, 这是我的专业, 一直在触发.伍德哈尔说 she’s had to leave classes related to child abuse and neglect; twice “paramedics picked me up from class and took me to the ER.”
她说，在整个过程中，十大博彩推荐排名大学的教职员工一直“非常、非常、非常乐于助人”. “That’s one of the things that I love about this campus.”
伍德霍尔仍在努力治愈她的创伤, including relearning that she’s worthy of her accomplishments. She copes, 她说, with therapy, medication and meditation and mindfulness practices. “When you’re told that you will never amount to anything, 你一文不值, 你很蠢，没人爱你, 你相信是因为它还在你的脑子里,她说。, “So, 当我听到相反的声音时, 我就像, wait a minute…Relearning all of that has been a struggle.”
有一个支持你的配偶和家庭是有帮助的, 她说, 一次又一次, she credits Montclair faculty as a support system; 她说 a recent class titled Mindfulness Theory and Practice was “very helpful.”
Bernales also has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and says that while “it’s a difficult topic for me to talk about,“她从不怨恨她的母亲. 我理解她. 我一直在她身边. Now I’m just coping with just the fear of me possibly losing her, 我不喜欢这样的想法.”
Woodhull is proud of how far she’s come and continues to work toward healing, 注意到她已经有一年零八个月没有自杀的念头了. “I haven’t had a single thought; I’ve had triggers but through mindfulness, 我学会了接受和承认我的感受,她说。.” I accept it as part of my past but not as a part of my future. 所以，我把它留在原地，我继续生活在现在，继续前进.”
今天，那些认识她的人对她的坚韧和她散发出的快乐只有赞美. 没有人会比她的女儿和母亲玛丽亚·门多萨更大声地为她的毕业欢呼. “The bond that the three of us have is very strong,” says Bernales.
伯纳莱斯一直是她母亲最受瞩目的女人，倒计时毕业典礼的日子. 她说:“她经历了火灾，身上带着一些伤疤，但脸上带着微笑。. “她来这里是为了向别人传播意识和喜悦, 她是一个不可思议的女人, 一个不可思议的人.”
伍德哈尔说，她很感激能实现自己的美国梦，但也指出，这也伴随着损失. All four of her grandparents have died while she has been in this country, 所以她没能再见到他们. “但是我妈妈会去的，”她高兴地说.
If you’re struggling, it’s okay to share your feelings. The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline may be reached by dialing or texting 988. 新泽西州的大学生可以免费获得, 全天候的远程治疗, 危机连接和健康规划 精神健康 & 健康. 有关十大博彩推荐排名州立大学咨询和心理服务的更多信息, 参观 部门的网站.
特约撰稿人报道 西尔维娅一个. 马丁内斯. 图片由大学摄影师提供 迈克•彼得斯.
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